I heard someone speaking the other day about relationships and she quoted some statistics that were very interesting.  She said that it's been proven that 10% of the people you meet and know will take an immediate and permanent dislike to you.  They will cross you off their list before you even get on it. 

That's one in ten people who will not like you.  For no reason at all.   AND then she gave some other statistics about how three in ten people will EVENTUALLY dislike you and will have a reason for doing so. They will think you are too something or other - or maybe they will think you are not something or other - but they will use it to justify not liking you and not pursuing a friendship with you.  

So that's four out of ten who will NOT LIKE YOU.  That leaves six people out of ten to work with.  Six people out of ten.  And of those six people, only one (according to her) will "get" you, and love you, and stand next to you through life's ups and downs. Only one will be a true friend.

The real secret is to decide which "one in ten" I will focus on. 

I guess it's human nature to focus on the one person who doesn't like me. Or to replay in my mind the scenario that happened to cause the other three people who DID think they liked me to change their minds and walk away.  I guess it's nothing but healthy to allow myself to see their "truth" about me, to see the truth in their criticisms of me, and to grow and learn from it, while grieving the end of a friendship.  It hurts when a friendship ends... no matter whose "fault" it is.   But.. as the song says, "I can't make you love me if you don't".......and that's the truth.  Some people... just won't. 

There is that "one in ten" who loves me.  I have friends who have been my friend for decades.  They know me, I know them.....and we love each other anyway.  I have learned, as the years have passed, that these "one in ten" friends are more precious than gold.  And yet, 

as thankful as i am for the "one in ten" friends I have....

I would have to say that the real secret to contentment and fulfillment is to BE the "one in ten" friend to others.  To BE what I want others to be for me.  

If I focus on being that "One In Ten" ..........that's the focus that fulfills more than counting who loves me and who does not. 

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME....NO MATTER WHAT.  HE IS THE KING OF HEAVEN.  That's enough love for a lifetime. 

"Do to others what you would like others to do to you." - Jesus

You know.. life is so scary.  That's the honest-to-goodness truth.  Even if you are living a life in a good and peaceful season right now - you know - because you are human - that at any moment a phone call, a doctor's report, a sickness, a disaster can turn your world upside down.

I think quickly.  That's the way my brain works.  Sometimes that's good... when I have to figure something out, or find a new way to write about an old subject .. but sometimes.. it can get me in to trouble.  I can think about what can happen... or more specifically.... what can go wrong... IN AN INSTANT!  

And so... I have.. in the past.. (and sometimes, still, in the present) given myself stress over something that MIGHT happen......and usually never does.

Then I realized that God gives me a choice every day.  I call it "Choice Thinking".  I can choose to think about all the bad things that COULD happen... and I would be 100% accurate in saying that it COULD happen.

OR

I could choose to remember the faithfulness of God and all the things in my life that COULD HAVE GONE WRONG and because of the LORD'S GREAT MERCY... did not.

True - the economy is looking scarier and scarier

TRUER - the Lord provides for His children.

True - at any moment disaster could strike.

TRUER - When we walk through the waters, He will walk with us.

True - the world is getting more wicked

TRUER - God is in control.

True - The world is a scary place

TRUER - God has not given us a spirit of fear.  He HAS given us LOVE, POWER and a SOUND MIND.

True - Life is filled with trouble.

TRUER - "In this world you WILL HAVE trouble, but be of GOOD CHEER for I  have OVERCOME THE WORLD!!" - Jesus, The Christ, The King of Kings and Lord of Lord, Ruler of All that Is.

True - Sickness can destroy us.

TRUER - "I am the Lord who healeth thee"

CHOICE THINKING means remembering that God has been faithful.  You are reading this today... because???  Because He wants to remind you that HE IS FAITHFUL.. even when you are not.   He will never let go of you.  

Ever.

Not yesterday.

Not today

and not tomorrow. 

So... think about that.  It's your choice to remember the FAITHFULNESS OF GOD...

OR NOT.

Ever notice when siblings get caught doing something wrong... they often blame the other guy. "HE DID IT!!"

"I DID NOT !!!"

"YES! YOU DID!".........(tears, sobs)

Well... honestly.. some of us have never grown up. And we often don't like to take the blame for stuff.  Who does? 

This is always unfair on our part - especially if we should take all or part of the blame.  

But what about when we get blamed for something that we really, truly,  honestly, sincerely did not do? 

Say....

A co-worker hints that YOU are the one responsible for a catastrophe and your boss believes him...or.....

someone says you gossiped about someone and you did not... or..

people have the idea that the reason your marriage failed is completely YOUR fault.... or...

you said something and the other person thinks you meant something mean and you didn't.. or

the list goes on and on.

Being blamed for something that you don't deserve to be blamed for can knock the wind out of your sails... and make you want to give up.

Jesus understands.

He was perfect - they blamed Him for things He did not do.

They killed Him.

How did He react when treated unjustly.  He did not retaliate.. He prayed for them.  And trust that God would judge the situation justly.

IF you are struggling with being misunderstand.. and being blamed for something you should not be blamed for...

JESUS UNDERSTANDS.

Tell Him.

He will send the comfort you need. 

He knows what it feels like.

When a small child gets hurt - maybe falls off his bicycle - at first there is intense drama... they cry.. they scream.. they sob.   And a good parent goes to the child and holds them and lets them cry and sob.. and comforts that child..  And the next step is to attend to the wound.. Get some healing.. get some medicine.  And as the wound is healing, a good parent keeps it covered and protected.  A good parents doesn't want that old wound to open up again. 

BUT... if.... six weeks later we observe the parent and child were still crying over the wound.. still sitting in the driveway sobbing and crying together... we would think that parent was being a very neglectful one.  Wouldn't we?  Yes.  We would.

The most loving thing a good parent can do is direct the child away from the wound... and back in to enjoying life.  It  isn't mean.   It isn't heartless. It isn't ignoring the grief that's been suffered... It's the pathway to healing. 

The highest goal of dealing with and healing a wound..is to live as you did before you were wounded.  Isn't it?  Yes. It is.  The child on the bike will be wiser next time.. maybe avoiding that part of the driveway that caused the fall.. but.. the whole idea of healing is to be WHOLE AGAIN.  Isn't it?  Yes. It is. 

And God, our Heavenly Father is the only PERFECT PARENT. He holds us, heals us, hides us ad then He guides us back in to the life we are supposed to live.  He doesn't sit there with us for decades and decades crying in the "driveway" over the wounds we have suffered.  First...

• HE HOLDS US. when life has wounded us - people, events, death, illness, emotional wars - there is a season when He simply holds us and comforts us and lets us cry.  He comforts.  He sits there with us while we cry.. and He grieves with us for the pain we are feeling.  Even if we caused it ourselves.  He is our FATHER and He comforts.
  

• HE HEALS US. And then.. when we feel and know that He is there holding us.. He begins to deal with the wound.  And at times this can be painful.  He UNCOVERS the wound and inspects it.  And He pours medicine on it... His Word.. His Spirit..  His begins the process of healing us.   He might teach us how to avoid it in the future.. what we did to cause the pain.. or.. not.  He just heals. Heals. Heals.  The first step toward healing is to get over the indignation that hurt has touched us.. touched our lives.  We have to accept that this HAS happened to us.  We cannot be healed if all we do is scream that we've been hurt.  Life is hard.  Some days the sun is shining on you and some days the rain is destroying you.  The sun will shine again. The rain will fall again.  IT's called "LIFE".True, some things - some losses - are so devastating that life as we knew it can never be as it was before... but.. still... we must, with God's help, continue to live life.  Continue to believe He will hold us and heal us. 

• HE HIDES US.  For a season, He hides the wounds.. like a parent puts a bandage on it.  He protects us... our hearts.. our spirits.  He is healing us, he is holding us, he is hiding us.  But eventually.. just like every good parent, He takes the protection off the wound.  Every wound has a time when the best healing is to simply be exposed to the air.  By the time an earthly parents does this.. the kid is outside playing again.. and not remembering the bike accident.  As a matter of fact, the kid is riding his bike again.  There comes a time when we have to get back to building His Kingdom, loving our King, loving His people, shining His light, preaching His Gospel... winning the LOST.
  

• HE GUIDES US... back in to the life we had before we were wounded.  REAL HEALING cannot happen if we refuse to stop being hysterical and ANGRY about what has happened. REAL HEALING eventually leads to REAL LIVING again.

It isn't heartless to tell someone who's been wounded - after a season - "OK, go outside and play again."  It's loving parenting.  It isn't heartless to tell someone who has had spiritual or emotional wounds that they need to keep looking toward being WHOLE again.  Get out there and fight the good fight !  AGAIN...AND AGAIN... Keep getting up.  Keep going on.

IF you've been wounded, let Him hold you, let Him hide you, let Him heal you. But remember, eventually you have to go outside and play again.  You have to live your life again.

BE HEALED. BE WHOLE.  

"I have come to heal the broken hearted" - Jesus  

HE WILL HEAL YOU... IF YOU WILL LET HIM.  WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM?  TELL HIM RIGHT NOW... "Lord, I am broken.  Heal me. Please."

So......................like..................uhhhhhhhhhh.............

LOVE MATTERS TO GOD.   We say we know this.. but sometimes love doesn't matter to His followers.  We have dimininshed love.  We have made it something "emotional" and "weak".  But LOVE IS THE MOST POWERFUL THING IN THE UNIVERSE.  It is our eternal search for it that keeps us going.  It is the absence of it that causes a person to do anything to find it.  

MOST IMPORTANTLY....It is the driving force behind ALL that God does and plans.  When a person cannot grasp that it was LOVE that made Jesus die on the Cross.. they cannot grasp the Gospel.When someone cannot believe that Jesus only motive for going on that Cross was LOVE - LOVE - LOVE... they cannot grasp the Gospel.  When they don't comprehend that they will never comprehend love that would TAKE a punishment that was not deserved.. they don't grasp the Gospel.

WE may convince ourselves that we can figure out a way we can earn, or deserve eternal LIFE... BUT WE CANNOT.   It is a GIFT from God... and LOVE is the reason.

Many times...people we know cannot grasp the Gospel because sometimes they cannot feel our LOVE... They cannot feel that the reason we are telling them that God has the gift of eternal life for them is because we LOVE them.

Sometimes it's our local church we are serving - our motive is to build that local church - sorta like a "Come join our CLUB" message..... and people cannot grasp the Gospel if LOVE is not the motive.

LOVE doesn't care who gets the credit as long as God's LOVE is given and received.

It is regretable that when we stand before LOVE HIMSELF... and He looks at WHY we did WHAT we did in HIS NAME....... it will be the most unfortunate moment to realize that LOVE has nothing to do with what we do.  

WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO GOD.  And LOVE for Him and LOVE for others has to be the reason.  

WITHOUT LOVE...........I am nothing.......and so are you.

I don't know why some people are just continually sour and grouchy.  Sure, life is difficult and at times... it's more difficult than others.   I'm not talking about someone who is suffering under the weight of a trial.. or catastrophe.

I'm talking about someone who is just impatient and grouchy all the time every day.  Why?  Why? Why? 

Do you know someone like that?  Do you have someone in your life who always sees life as a glass being half empty instead of half full? 

God loves grouchy people.  Yes He does.

He loves them, and He wants them, and He calls to them and He yearns for them to come Home.  To let Him love them.

When a grouchy person is raining on your day... remember that God loves that person.

Yes.  He does.