......that I have much to be thankful for.  And when I remember that simple truth......my eyes seem to see a different world.  I see a place that is gentle and beautiful and warm.  I see a place where everyone I love is healthy today... and everyone I love is still here on earth.

.....and I remember that I have good, dear, friends who love me just the way I am. 

....and I think that my little girl dream of being a writer has come true. And I stand back, with awe, at how GOD is opening doors. 

.... and then I remember that remembering these wonderful things is only half the story.  He asks me to OPEN MY MOUTH and actually SAY ... with my mouth....."Thank You!"  

All through His Word, He reminds us that being thankful is one thing... and.. saying I am is yet another one. 

Today I am thankful for His mercy, love, grace, provision and guidance.  My heart overflows.

And then I remember that out of the abundance of my heart....my mouth should speak.

And I open my mouth and say words to my Faithful God.  Sometimes I wonder why I am feeling a little down... feeling overwhelmed... feeling discouraged...

and then.. I remember Praise.  And I forget what I was feeling.

I have learned many things from my husband, Phil.  He's very talented, and because of HIS talent, I have had a showcase for mine.. whatever God allows me to have.

One extraordinary thing I have learned by observing him through these decades of marriage is his ability to demonstrate kindness.  Kindness (some translations use the word "gentleness")  is a fruit of the Holy Spirit that I rarely hear mentioned as being as important as it actually is.  When God works in a person, His Spirit creates KINDNESS.  I have observed how Phil is gentle with others, would NEVER willingly say or do ANYTHING to purposely hurt another person.  He stands up to others when and if he has to.  Being kind is not the same as being wimpy.  He's strong, and strong willed.  And yet his kindness just overflows.. to me.. to others.. He's gentle toward everone and has the ability to prefer the feelings of others above his own.

But... in all these decades.. I have never observed him knowingly hurt another person, push his opinions on someone else, or utter words that cut. 

No one gets through life without someone being unkind to them.... or unfair.. or unfriendly.. or just plain mean.  Phil has had to endure people who have treated him unfairly and yet... he remains gentle.. and kind to everyone. He is, "Phil, The Kind".    And he isn't perfect. He isn't a saint.  He's a normal human.. but a very kind normal human.

Being kind is a forgotten art BECAUSE so very few people practice it... so we have very few masters to observe.     And yet, it is the comfort that would make life more tolerable it we wanted it.. if we allowed God to cultivate it in us. 

I am blessed to be married to a man who is a master of the art of kindness.  And... I know it. (and so does he)

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:31-32

I am CONSTANTLY amazed... ok.. maybe CONSTANTLY is not completely accurated.. I am OFTEN amazed, perplexed, at CHRISTIANS.......who hold on to grudges..and cannot have mercy on... or forgive other people.

First, let me say, I'm not referring to those earth shattering crimes people commit against others - abuse, etc - that requires outside help... a pastor, counselor... prayer.. and love.  Sometimes, some people are simply sociopaths.  

I'm talking about people who cannot let go of a statement someone said... people who cannot overlook someone's personality annoyances.. people who hold on to GRUDGES. Seriously?

And then... how do you explain.......the words of JESUS??????  YOUR LEADER?

GRUDGES.. AND THE CHRISTIAN PEOPLE WHO HOLD THEM... are a mystery to me.

How thankful are you for water? 

I don't usually start my day thankful for something so......uh.......available.  I don't think about how often I grab some ice cold water from the frig... and then go water my flowers... take showers... wash clothes...

But.....when you think about it, in just a day......IF I DIDN'T HAVE IT... if I couldn't find it.. if I couldn't drink it whenever my thirst arrived.. then the only thing I would think about would be water... and the thing I would be MOST THANKFUL for is....having it.

Furthermore....water is essential to my very existence.  Most of us have heard that we can go weeks without food, but only three days without water.  So here is something that is vitally IMPORTANT to my VERY SURVIVAL.. and because it's just all around me.. I hardly think about how BLESSED I AM TO HAVE WATER.

Thank you God...

Evidently, it is human nature to assume that something we have easy access to - even if that something is something we NEED TO SURVIVE -

is something we forget to be thankful for.

God's mercy and love is poured out on us like water.  He doesn't deal with us as we deserve.. but is rich and longing to have mercy on us.. on me. 

I sometimes forget how patient He is being with me while I continue to be impatient with those around me. 

Evidently, it is human nature to assume that something we have easy access to - even if that something is something we NEED TO SURVIVE -

is something we forget to be thankful for.

.......the man said to my husband as we sat at a restaurant with him and his wife.  They had recently begun attending the church in Pennsylvania where my husband was the pastor.  He'd done some things in the past that he was ashamed of.  He was sort of "testing" my husband.. I think.  Trying to "shock" him by telling him some of the stuff he had done.  Some of it was pretty shocking.. honestly.

The more he said, the more my husband tried to explain that God LONGS to show mercy to us.. to him.   At one point in the conversation you could see the "light" go on in his eyes..  He said, "You mean God would forgive me? You mean he would not punish me for all those things I've done?  I could be clean inside?" ............His face began to lose the look of a man in torture.

When he understood that God doesn't WANT to hold our sins against us.. that Jesus has already PAID for every sin anyone can ever commit......and all we have to do is ASK TO BE FORGIVEN.. ASK FOR THE MERCY.. 

He said, "It's too good to be true.  There's something about feeling guilty about all I've done that feels right... even though it's a torment to me.. even though it keeps me from sleeping.. even though the guilt is the reason I drink so much... I feel like I should beat myself up.  There's something about feeling guilty that feels right."

Eventually.......he accepted God's free gift of forgiveness.  He became a changed man.  And when he passed away, years later........he had lived a guilt free life as a forgiven man.

I can identify with that man at times.. maybe you can too.  You know you've betrayed some kind of moral compass inside.. and you feel that's it only right that you punish yourself for it.

There's something about feeling guilty that feels natural to a human.  That's why mercy and grace is so amazing.  It doesn't make sense that God doesn't WANT TO be mad at us.. but wants to adopt us.. and forgive us.. and make us His very CHILD. 

It's true that there's something about feeling guilty that feels right.....but.. there's something about being forgiven that feels even better.  It doesn't make sense.  True love never does.

The good thing about true iove is that while you have it, it's the most wonderful thing you can find.  It is, actually, enough to make everything else in life seem not as bad..when you have someone who loves you with the kind of love that is deep, and giving, and real and true.

Some of us never find that true love.  Some of us live our lives with people who love themselves so much that it never matters to them if you feel loved or not.

The good thing about true love is having it.

The bad thing about true love is losing it. 

Once you've had it and you lose it, nothing else on earth can come close to it again.  It can be the love between a mother and a child, siblings, a man and woman...

People can stop loving us.  People can stop living.  Losing true love is pain.  Nothing but pain.

If you have never felt it... or if you've had it and lost it...

There is a love that is deeper than any love you can feel for and get from another person.

It doesn't seem like it's real.. it doesn't seem true..

Jesus loves you with an everlasting love.

He says, "I will NEVER LEAVE YOU... I will NEVER FORSAKE YOU."

And while it still destroys you to lose that person you lost.......Jesus and His love can be the foundation that keeps you from going under.  

I am a Christian.  I follow a path that is narrow.  The path is narrow because few people will choose to follow it.... not because it excludes anyone.

I am a follower of Jesus.  I believe He is the ONLY Son of the ONLY God.  I believe the ONLY WAY for my sins to be forgiven is to believe that His sacrifice on the Cross paid for them.

I am a believer that there is ONLY ONE WAY to God.  That is what I believe. 

I believe that God wants everyone to find their way home to Him through His Son, Jesus.  

I am allowed to believe this.  Yes?  Yes.

I am allowed to state what I believe.  Yes? Yes.

And yet, I find such a wind blowing through the land.  A wind that says that anyone who believes anything absolutely is narrow minded. 

And yet the people who believe that I am narrow minded for believing absolutely what I believe .........believe absolutely that their belief that I am narrow minded is the truth.

Narrow minded?

Yes, they are.

Three words.  Three words that matter. 

I remember a scene from one of those Indiana Jones movies.  The one where we first meet Sean Connery as Indiana's father.  They spend the entire movie trying to find the Holy Grail... and when they do... in a cave somewhere with German soliders shooting at them, and earthquakes splitting open the ground... Indiana Jones is holding on to the Holy Grail.. the object of his attention all his life... as it is slipping between the crack in the earth and about to be lost forever.  He is so intent on what he had been so intent on... that.. he doesn't realize that while he has a death grip on the Holy Grail.....it is causing him to kill himself.  He refuses to let go.. he refuses to consider letting go... and his refusal is going to kill him.  His father, who has spent the entire time looking for it himself....speaks softly to his son.  He gets his attention because he wants his son to live...he wants his son more than he wants the Grail.  He calls to his son, mere seconds before he falls to his death, and says,  "Let it go.  Let. It. Go."  And Indiana lets go of the Grail...watches it slip from his hands... and in so doing.. he saves his life.

We hold on to stuff.  

We hold on to dreams....that didn't come true... and we refuse to let go and live the wonderful life we actually have.

We hold on to grudges....we refuse to let go and live a life with a clean heart and a light spirit.

We hold on to guilt... we refuse to let go and believe that we are truly, completely forgiven by God when we ask to be forgiven.

We hold on to pain...and cannot believe that we can live without it.. that we can live without being its victim.

We hold on to lusts...convinced by the enemy of our souls that we can never conquer them.

The only thing that is worth holding on to is faith in a God who loves you enough to want to make you FREE.  FREE. Free of guilt, shame, pain, regret....

Whatever you are holding on to that is holding you down...

in the name of Jesus.. and with His power and His authority helping you... today you can.. say.. "Jesus... I give you.............(whatever it is that is weighing you down and keeping you bound).. 

With the help of Jesus, the King of Heaven.. the Only Son of the Only God.. you can.. 

LET IT GO. 

 A missing child.  Is there anything more horrifying?  The news is filled with sad, tragic stories. Any mother will tell you that this would be her greatest nightmare. Every mother will tell you that her every waking moment is looking out for and protecting her child. 

The Bible has a story of a missing child.  A twelve year old boy.. missing for three days. 

The boy is Jesus.  And it's the only glimpse we have in to his childhood.  In Luke, Chapter 2, we are told that every year Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover.  They traveled with a crowd of people... and the year Jesus was 12, they noticed on their way home.. after a day... that he was not in the crowd of people.   They frantically returned to Jerusalem.. and couldn't find Him for days.

They searched for him for THREE DAYS.  THREE DAYS!  AND WHEN THEY FOUND HIM.. He was in the Temple discussing the things of God.  They were frantic.  "How could you do this to us?" they asked him?? Why did you not care that we couldn't find you?  He answered them,

"And He said to them, How is it that you had to look for Me? Did you not see and know that it is necessary [as a duty] for Me [a]to be in My Father's house and [occupied] about My Father's business?" Luke 2:49 (Amplified Bible)

He didn't apologize for not walking with them.  He just assumed they should have known where to find Him - occupied with His Father's business.

There is no doubt Mary and Joseph LOVED Jesus.

There is no doubt Mary and Joseph wanted Jesus close by.

There is no doubt that they were confused that Jesus didn't find them.. but that they had to find him. 

Yesterday it exploded in my brain - Jesus is always to be found concerned with His Father's business. 

He was in the Temple.  He was with the religious leaders.  He was talking about God and the things of God.  The Father's business is about redemption.  About the Good News that there is a WAY.  The Father's business is about His Son, Jesus.  

When I feel dry.. when I feel disconnected.. when I have "lost" the presence of Jesus in my life... I will find Him where He always is...

About His Father's business.

When my life is about My Heavenly Father's business....

I will be exactly where Jesus is.

When my life is about my business...

focused on me.. my concerns... my goals........ I will notice that I am walking but Jesus isn't there anymore.  

I will soon realize that Jesus is back where I left him...

So many "dry" seasons can be explained by understanding that I am not my own, and I was bought with a price..

and as soon as I get back to the Father's business.... I will "find" Jesus again.

The main point of Jesus response to His parents is...........

................He seems to expect His family to know where they can find Him.  

It was a purple crayon.  It was in the pocket of the jeans of my then five-year-old son.  I did not check the pockets before I included the jeans in a load of laundry I put in to the washer.  I did not check the pockets before I included the jeans in a load of laundry I put in to the dryer.

It was during the rough and tumble and heat of the dryer that the full effect of a purple crayon was revealed.  The heat made it soft.  The heat caused it to melt.  And the melting caused the crayon to leave its mark on every piece of clothing that was in the dryer with it. 

We were a tightly budgeted family.  Losing a loadful of clothing was a great big blow to our economics.  I almost cried as I saw the purple crayon and the clothing it had ruined. I was so annoyed at myself for not taking the few seconds it would have taken to get the purple crayon out of the little guy's pocket.  

And then I remembered that all things work together for good..... that I might be conformed in to the image of Jesus.   Things working together for good means that whatever comes my way, God can and will use to help me to look and be more like Jesus. Sometimes it doesn't SEEM good unless I remember that God's main purpose in allowing things is to make Marie more like Jesus. (God takes on GI-normous tasks, doesn't He?)

"OK, Lord, what possible lesson can I learn from a crayon melting all over the laundry?", I asked out loud.  

And slowly, the Holy Spirit reminded me that it is the rough and tumble of life that God allows to come our way that makes us soft. When we are hard and cold... when we feel like we need nothing.. from God or His people... He often allows things to come our way that will turn up the "heat" and soften our hearts to remember how desperately we NEED GOD. 

We are called to comfort one another with the comfort which we ourselves have received from God.  We cannot give comfort from God unless we have first received it. And unless we need to be comforted... unless life gives us things that cause us to cry out to our Father  - the God of all comfort - then we will have no real comfort to give.

It is the "heat" of life that keeps us soft.  Jesus warns about people who will "wax cold."  Being soft and pliable and melted by the working of God in my life is what the working of God in my life is all about.  

"And...." the Spirit whispered to my heart, "when you are soft and pliable in your Father's hands, everyone you come in to contact with will have the mark of your love on their lives. Just like this crayon left its mark on every piece of clothing in the dryer, so your life, when you are melted by the love of God.......will leave a mark of God's love on everyone you touch."

I cannot say I have always been soft.  I cannot say I have always left a lasting mark of love on everyone who knows me... 

But every time I saw that purple crayon on a piece of clothing.......I asked the Lord to give me enough love.......enough comfort.........enough HIM... to leave an indelible mark of Jesus on everyone I touch.

Sometimes I get cold...sometimes life gets overwhelming... and I find myself  dry and hard again.  And then I remember the day I learned about the crayon effect.. and.. know that it is the Lord's love that turns up the heat in life... the very heat that softens me once more.

I need to be melted over and over again.  

The other day I was working on this website...trying to figure out how to upload some stuff I've written.   I hit the wrong button on my laptop and the page titled "About Me" was gone.  In just an instant.  Who I was. What I'd done. What I hope to do.  Gone. Gonzo.  Disappeared.  One second I was there, and the next second I was not. I couldn't get it back.  It was gone.I could not hit "undo".. it wouldn't work.  I was deleted.  From my own website.

And it got me thinking that someday....in just one moment of time... the same thing will happen. But for real.  I will be deleted from my own life.  I will not be able to hit "undo".  I'll be deleted from the planet. Just. Like. That.  

I had to redo the page.  Not that any of you are longing to know all about me.. but...  

But.......truth is.......eventually all of us will be deleted from this place. Whether we like it or not.   

But there is one important place that what is written can never be deleted.  The Book of Life which resides where God is.  Is your name written there? That's the only thing that will matter when our forevers begin. 

Do you know how to have your name written there? ARE YOU SURE? If not, email me and we can discuss it. 

"I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.  The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.  The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.  Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life."  Rev.21:22-29

"Grace" is God's decision to forgive you. People write songs about "grace" calling it "amazing"... which it truly is. 

Why should you be forgiven of your sins?  What is the reason you are forgiven? 

You don't deserve to be forgiven. You don't have an inalienable right to forgiveness.  

And neither do I.   It's a gift.  A gift of love that is so unbelievable that most of us explain it away.  

Love created the gift and once you have received it - love must continue to be your only explanation for it.   "Why am I forgiven?" you ask yourself.. and the only answer is "God's love."  Not your love for God, but God's love for you.

The moment you forget the "LOVE" part of grace, you will remember the "DEATH" part of sin.  

Guilt is the enemy of Grace.  Do you feel guilty today?  Do you remember things you've done.  Jesus paid for that sin.  For every sin.  In your past and your future. Have you and God discussed that?  If so.. then your sin has been placed on Jesus.  Why?  Love. Love that cannot be comprehended fully......only fully received.

Sadly so many of us cannot forget what we've done.  We cannot move on because we cannot believe the love that gives us grace.

Forget what you did.. but remember who you are.  You ARE the righteousness of God.

"God made him (Jesus) who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor. 5:21 

(The song, "He Has Forgiven Me" upper left.....applies)

A few years ago, our pastor preached a sermon and said a phrase I always remembered.  Actually, he was talking about a line from a movie.  I don't recall which movie it was, but it was a military one.  A solider had been shot.  His immediate officer asked him to go do something that required a great deal of effort.  The solider pointed out to his superior that he had been shot.  His superior's answer?  "Son, we've all been shot." and didn't give the solider the excuse he was looking for.  The soldier did what he was asked to do.

"We've all been shot" in this war zone called "Life".  We all have.  I don't care how wonderful you think someone else's life has been - I can guarantee you that person has had tears and sorrow, regret and pain.  

No one makes it out of the battle without getting wounded.  Sometimes we compare wounds..  Someone who's been shot in the foot thinks a foot wound is the worst wound there is.. until.. you talk to someone who's been shot in the hand.   It doesn't matter where the wound is - it hurts.

And like the soldier in the story, we think that our woundedness is reason enough to sit on the sidelines of life.  To stop doing what God created us to do.  To stop living life. Sometimes we get angry at getting wounded and we let anger put out our light. Or we are so beaten down - by others, by our own mistakes and poor decisions - that it has broken our spirit... we are no longer who we used to be.  And we assume, many of us, that whatever good things God had intended for us.....is long gone.  We wait for that light to finally flicker out.. we wait for our brokenness to kill us.

God still has plans for broken people  God can fan that flickering light in to a flame that warms everyone around you.  BUT ONLY GOD CAN DO IT.  AND ONLY WHEN WE ASK HIM TO.   God uses broken things.  God brings justice to lives that others have unfairly broken. 

He's not done with you........ Don't be done with yourself.

"A bruised reed he will not break,and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;" Isaiah 42:3